10 things Unhappy people do that you should not

Deborah Rose
Written By: Deborah Rose – Love Passion Legacy

Living an unhappy lifestyle only leads to a wasted life. Our Lives really are very short, so why waste a minute feeling upset about the things that you cannot control?

If you want to live a happier life, take note below of what unhappy people do, so you know what to avoid.

We all have negative tendencies and while we should all embrace every part of ourselves, we need to identify these and learn from them and adjust them instead of neglecting them. Don’t let your sadness linger.

1. They see only the negatives.

Unhappy people see only the negatives in life. Their whole outlook on life is that the world is a miserable place. They focus on things like what they don’t have and what is going wrong in their life and fail to see all the positives and blessings. This makes them unhappy people and pessimistic.

When faced with challenges in life, you shouldn’t focus on the negatives. Easier said than done you might think. How about instead if you encounter a failure or perceived negative situation you stop and really try looking at the potential positives coming out of a situation.

Have you gained anything out of this situation? What have you leaned for the next stage of life or project. Perhaps that lost job opportunity means you have a shot at a better job. Perhaps that financial hurdle taught you to budget better or the breakup taught you what you don’t want in your next partner.

Sometimes it may seem like there are only negative results especially when its fresh and hurting. However you can still find the positives and the sooner you do the better for your mental health and personal growth.

Just think, what have I gained from this experience? Has this taught you more about yourself and what you like? Has it provided you with the skills to be more prepared next time? You can always find a positive.

2. They focus on what they don’t have

Unhappy people believe that they need something they don’t have to be happier. They tend to focus on the negatives in life. Their focus is on the things they don’t have, making their everyday life seemingly dull and unsatisfying.

Unhappy people tell themselves, “if only I had this job, I’d be happier” or “if only I had more time, I could focus on my real talents”.

Maybe it would be better if you had a different job or you had more time on your hands. But that shouldn’t stop you from living in the now. If you did get that dream job, there will always be something more you want e.g more money, more time and so on.

You need to remember instead to focus on what you do have, or what is good in your current situation. Write it down. You will get quite a list. Do you have great friends and family around you? Do you have a roof over your head and money so you can pay bills? Use that time and energy spent on dreaming about a different life and channel it into enjoying what you already have and watch things start to turn around.

3. They seek approval from others.

Unhappy people look for happiness in the wrong places. They can be caught in the trap of trying to please others, in an effort to gain approval. They spend their time focusing on what others think of them, when they should really be focusing on themselves.

Seeking approval from others is something we should refrain from doing. You can’t always gain approval from others, nor can you tailor your beliefs to suit them. You will only find dissatisfaction in this. To be happy you must put yourself and your beliefs first. Do what makes you happy and not what you fell others will approve of. Then you will shine.

4. They don’t take responsibility.

Instead of taking responsibility, unhappy people blame others when something goes wrong., They will point their finger at someone or something else. They might say something like, “If it wasn’t for Billy, I wouldn’t have missed my appointment and be having to pay a fine” or “It’s not my fault the system is set up like that and I can’t work it out”.

By pointing the finger at someone or something else, you are unable to admit you are the one making an error. What you should be doing is taking responsibility for your own failings. Otherwise you will find that the blaming circle spirals out of control and you are blaming everything on someone else. Accept when you are wrong and learn from your mistakes. You cannot learn if you don’t see where you are at fault.

5. They need to be in control of everything.

Unhappy people believe that by having full control, they have the ability to stop any negative side effects. They have an almost compulsive need to feel like they are in control and they want to know every detail, to help enable them to get that perceived full control.

But those who are happy know and have found peace with the knowledge that you cannot control everything. Life is uncertain and unpredictable, meaning you cannot prepare against everything. People will do things all the time that are unpredictable and situations can change in an instant.

When you go into full control mode, you waste too much energy trying to maintain things how you feel they should be going. In the end, things often adjust and change and your efforts are wasted and you end up dissappointed. So don’t spend all your time focusing on every detail. Accept that you cannot control everything. Try and plan your best and let whatever happens, happen.

6. They don’t follow their heart.

Unhappy people tend to think about things logically, using their brain and not their heart. They ignore their gut instinct and choose to think things through, weighing out the pros and cons until they convince themselves not to do what their hearts calling them too.

Yet what do those who are successful and thriving in life tell us? They would tell you to follow your heart to be happy. A happy and fulfilled heart is the key to your happiness. Sure do your pros and cons so you know what you’re up against but don’t let them overrule your gut instinct. You should trust your heart and spirit to guide you to what you want and ultimately need from your life.

7. They very seldom take risks.

Unhappy people have a habit of not taking risks. So when they are handed an opportunity they often decline the invite, or find excuses not to participate. This then sets off a circle of disappointment as they hear back of the successful outcomes and know they have missed out on something they would have enjoyed.

For example, someone may ask them if they want to go out for dinner at the weekend. An unhappy person’s first response would tend to be, “its not really my thing” or “I can’t afford it”, or a comment on how “food they have not made themselves is a risk” Their own fears stop them from taking that opportunity, thus not taking a risk.

The problem with this is the more you decline, the more fearful a situation becomes. As a by product, the person presenting the opportunity then may also be more hesitant to invite them again and they then get left out of future invitations.

You need to let go and take some risks to be happy. Saying no to life’s opportunities only stops you from living a full life. So don’t let excuses hold you back from experiences, if you can do it, why not give it a whirl.

8. They hold on to grudges.

Unhappy people don’t let go of grudges and instead hold onto painful memories and relive them. They ask themselves questions like “What if…” and “Why did this happen?”. Those carrying grudges find it hard to connect with people and especially those they feel have wronged them and find it difficult to forgive them. Instead they choose to dwell on what others have done and the hurt they have felt and wear it like a banner.

There is no benefit to let something in the past take over your life today. You should never be unhappy dwelling on something someone has done to you. It might have been unfair and totally unjustified. You might have wished you had said or acted differently, or that the wronged person would apologise. But thinking this way is not going to help you feel any happier.

Don’t let someone else’s actions or words control how you feel today. You are the one that will suffer by holding onto this painful memory. It is taking up precious space in your head for the positive thoughts. Learn from it and learn and strive to forgive, because otherwise it will turn you into a victim and rule you. You don’t deserve that, you deserve to be happy every day.

9. They hang around the wrong crowd.

Unhappy people draw in others of a like mind. It is said that the energy you give out is what you tend to attract, thus negative people attract more negative people to themselves. Being around negative people will lower your mood and give you a more sombre outlook on life. Sadly too, negative people also repel positive people. The very people who could help them to improve their outlook and get out of their negative mindset.

So simply put, if you want to be happy, don’t let yourself be surrounded by negative people. Negative people will drain your energy and influence you into a even more negative attitude. Instead encourage the positive people in your world to be around you, people who will spur you on, not focus on the negatives.

10. They don’t enjoy the present.

Unhappy people spend time focusing on what they don’t have and the negative experiences they have had. Because they are lost in a spiral of their bitter memories or worries about the future, they are unable to focus and be present in this moment. With their thoughts preoccupying them, they are unable to have fun and let go.

True happiness is found only living in the present moment. People need to be able to have fun and enjoy life today and capture the joy in activity in which they are actively engaged. What happened in the past, or what may happen in the future, does not matter. You should enjoy this time right now. Get involved in conversation around you or simply watch those around you who are living well, have a go. Seek to enjoy this very moment you are in.

Are you guilty of waiting for permission?

Author: Deborah Rose

Todays Quote:

A great leaders courage to fulfil his vision comes from his passion not his position

John Maxwell

I posted this to my Love Passion Legacy instagram today but a shortened version of it. I am rehashing is here as this is something I think many of my community struggle with.

Are you waiting for permission? I know I have been guilty of doing just that. You are waiting for someone to tell you that you’re good enough. To affirm that you have worked long enough or have finally achieved the right status.

You might be looking to get that nod from the local business board or church board or your best friend or favourite uncle. Whomever’s opinion you value.

But why do we do this? It is because we are all wired to keep ourselves safe. We do this ourselves by talking ourselves out of things before we start. We also feel the need to overshare our plans with others and then if we get a cautionary response we retreat. Yes in a war or fight that would be a good idea. But when it comes to dreams maybe we need to take a different approach.

I wanted to write you today that don’t need permission to follow your passion! It’s your passion. It was given to you, not them. It’s entrusted to you, not them. Treasure it. They won’t be the ones who look back and regret not having a go.

They don’t see the hours you’ve spent reading and studying and planning behind closed doors. They have not witnessed you on your knees praying for the answer to how to get this thing moving.

Stop waiting for permission to follow your passion and start working it into your everyday. Dreams are put in us for a reason and everyone’s passion and dream is unique.

Of course those you seek the approval from, who don’t like change and are threatened by what you want to do are going to discourage you. Probably because it makes them feel small and they fear the unknown.

Don’t tell them! Do it anyway! Find a championing squad. There are literally groups for everything online and around these days. You will find kinsfolk somewhere. Stay positive! Keep taking steps, you will gain momentum. It’s gonna be worth it.

Those whore have stopped you in the past will likely cheer you eventually but usually only after they see your successful. Even then they won’t grasp the significance of what you’ve done.

I’ll champion you, I’ll encourage you. We all deserve to follow our dreams. Stop waiting to be in the right position and for the right time. Start today. For your hearts sake, start today. Be brave. You can, be a super hero.

Love Passion Legacy

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Are you waiting for permission? I know I have been guilty of that. Waiting for someone to tell you your good enough, have worked long enough. Have the right status. To get that nod from the local business board or church board or your best friend or favourite uncle. I want to tell you today you don’t need permission to follow your passion! It’s your passion. It was given to you, not them. They won’t be the ones who look back and regret not having a go. They don’t see the hours you’ve spent reading and studying and planning behind closed doors. They have not witnessed you on your knees praying for the answer to how to get this thing moving. Stop waiting for permission to follow your passion and start working it into your everyday. Dreams are put in us for a reason and everyone’s is unique. Of course those you seek the nod from who don’t like change and are threatened by what you want to do because it makes them feel small are going to discourage and caution you. Don’t tell them! Do it anyway! Find a championing squad. There are literally groups for everything online and around these days. You will find kinsfolk in there. Stay positive. Keep taking steps, you will gain momentum. It’s gonna be worth it. Those you let stop you at the start will cheer you eventually but usually only after they see your successful. Even then they won’t grasp the significance of what you’ve done. I’ll champion you, I’ll encourage you. We all deserve to follow our dreams. Stop waiting to be in the right position and for the right time. Start today. For your hearts sake start today. #lifecoach #healthcoach #gettinginspired #findingcreativeflow #wordstoliveby #wordsofwisdom #omokoroabeach #nzcoach #nz #johnmaxwell #johnmaxwellcoach #dailywordsofwisdom

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Your thought processes

Have you ever considered how your thought processes effect your health? Do you even think thoughts can have any effect? Well this little blog today is all about how you think could be effecting your health. Open your mind and read on…

Have you ever heard the phrase … “As a man thinks in his heart so is he”. This was proposed all the way back in biblical time. Or “In a disordered mind, as in a disordered body, soundness of health is impossible” Marcus Tullius Cicero. Your health is what you make of it. Everything you do and think either adds to the vitality, energy and spirit you possess or takes away from it. Ann Wigmore

This is just a sample of quotes from older times so you know that this concept is not completely new. The more I study and reflect the more I am convinced that our current state of health is directly influenced by our thought life.

Some chronic health disorders it is known for a fact are brought on or enhanced by stress. Stress in the body can contribute to many health problems, such as high blood pressure, heart disease, obesity and diabetes. This is not just a suggestion this is a medical fact and one that GPs diagnose daily in this modern age.

Likewise light living and celebration. Joy and friendships and the most powerful energy known to man, “laughter” can be amazing for health and there have been so many documented cases of people beating health conditions off the back of a shift in thought patterns, more joy and a healthy clean eating regime.

Have you or someone you know been diagnosed with a stress related illness? Perhaps you are suffering symptoms of something and rather than stopping and looking for the potential cause you are blindly pushing on. I urge you to halt. Stop long enough to decide if you are under stress. Make the necessary changes and see your health improve for the better.

How does this come about?

The mentioned stress hormones are the same ones that trigger your body’s “fight or flight” response. Your heart races, your breath quickens, and your muscles are poised ready for action. This response was designed to protect your body in an emergency. It prepares you to react quickly. But when the stress response keeps activated, day after day, it could put your health at serious risk.

Central nervous and endocrine systems

Your central nervous system (CNS) is in charge of your “fight or flight” response. In your brain, the hypothalamus kicks in and tells your adrenal glands to release the stress hormones – adrenaline and cortisol. These hormones speed up your heartbeat. That sends blood rushing to the areas that need it most in an emergency, such as your muscles, heart, and other important organs.

When the perceived fear is gone, the body should tell all systems to return back to normal. If the central nervous system fails to return to normal, or if the stress doesn’t go away, the response will continue.

Chronic stress is also a factor in behaviours such as overeating or not eating enough, alcohol or drug abuse, and social withdrawal.

Respiratory and cardiovascular systems

Stress hormones also affect your cardiovascular and respiratory systems. Stress response causes you to breathe faster in an effort to quickly distribute oxygen-rich blood to your body. If you already have a breathing problem like asthma or emphysema, stress makes it even harder to breathe.

Hearts pumps faster under stress. Then stress hormones cause your blood vessels to constrict and divert more oxygen to your muscles so you’ll have more strength to take action. But this also raises your blood pressure.

Frequent or chronic stress will work the heart too hard for too long. When blood pressure rises, so to does your risks for stroke or heart attacks.

Digestive system

Under stress, your liver produces extra blood sugar (glucose) to give you an energy boost. If you’re under chronic stress, your body may not be able to keep up with this extra glucose surge. Chronic stress increases your risk of developing type 2 diabetes.

Digestive systems are also be upset by the rush of hormones leading to rapid breathing, and increased heart rate. You are more likely to have heartburn or acid reflux thanks to an increase in stomach acid. Stress doesn’t cause ulcers as such, but it can increase your risk for them and cause existing ulcers to act up.

The way food moves through your body can also be affected by stress, leading to diarrhea or constipation. You might also experience nausea, vomiting, or a stomachache.

Our Immune system

Stress stimulates our immune system, this is another natural and necessary response. It can be a plus for immediate situations. This stimulation can help you avoid infections and heal wounds.

Over time however the stress hormones will weaken your immune system and reduce your body’s response to health invaders. Under chronic stress people are more susceptible to viral illnesses like the common cold and flu, as well as other infections. Stress can also increase the time it takes you to recover from an illness or injury.

Sexuality and reproductive system

Stress is exhausting for both the body and mind. It’s not unusual to lose your sexual desire when you’re under constant stress. Short-term stress may cause men to produce more of the male hormone testosterone, this effect doesn’t last. Woman tend to lose sex drive also.

If stress continues for a long time, man’s testosterone levels can begin to drop. This can interfere with sperm production and cause erectile dysfunction or impotence. Chronic stress may also increase risk of infection for male reproductive organs like the prostate and testes.

For women, stress can affect the menstrual cycle. It can lead to irregular, heavier, or more painful periods. Chronic stress can also magnify the physical symptoms of menopause.

Muscular system

Your muscles tense up to protect themselves from injury when you’re stressed. They tend to release again once you relax, but if you’re constantly under stress, your muscles may not get the chance to relax.

Tight muscles cause back and shoulder pain, headaches and body aches. Over time, this can set off an unhealthy cycle as you stop exercising and turn to pain medication for relief.

The symptoms go on and on. So do you still think the way you think does not impact your health? I hope this will help you to understand what your body potentially faces when you are under stress or gives you an insight into your loved ones.

But it is not all doom and gloom. Once you recognise that you are likely under stress and showing signs in your health you can start to make changes. Things like meditation, quiet times, massage and gratitudes all can help and that list is very brief compared to whats out there and available. I am going to blog soon about ways to reduce the effects of stress on your life and body. This will I hope go along way to setting some of those suffering stress effects on the right path to better health.

But for now I will say that if you find yourself under constant stress or showing these ailments and symptoms over a period of time then please seek ways yourself to reduce the stress or improve the ways your dealing with your stress in your life. Your longevity and overall body health relies on it.

Until next time.. Stay well everyone

Gluten or dairy free and why?

Could your everyday food be causing you the pain your feeling?

For many it must seem like there is a sudden fad over the last few years to go gluten or dairy free. While it is definitely more common now days it is definitely not a fad. If you suffer any of the symptoms mentioned lower down in this blog on a regular basis definitely worth considering for yourself.

Some people put up with low level pain for years. Some even put up with chronic pain. But rather than considering what they eat might be causing this pain they rush off to the doctor with yet another symptom or ailment and walk out with synthetic drugs to heal a suspected this or that. Or they resign themselves to a lifetime of pain relief or worse they end up in surgery for all the wrong reasons.

Symptoms people often find present if they have a gluten intolerance, allergy or sensitivity include: Join pain, digestive disorder, diarrhea, constipation, abdominal pain, headaches, irritated skin, brain fog, mood changes, depression and this is the shortened list.

Symptoms often present if dairy is a problem include: sinus congestion, constant runny nose, Acne, bloating, gas, constipation, diarrhea and nausea.

Not a nice list of symptoms to be sure and a lot of these people try and fix these with a pain killer, coffee, vitamins, pills. The reality could be though that all they need to do is a simple elimination test on themselves and see if anything changes and adjust their diet accordingly.

Not too difficult sounding is it. So how does that work? Generally speaking you eliminate gluten or dairy or both from your diet for a minimum period of three weeks. Plan before and know your substitute food and give it a go.

Then you keep a diary. Best to start this the week before you begin with a list of symptoms or things bothering you in your body each day. note especially on bad days what you ate. Then after you eliminate the food group you note each day how you are feeling. You might like to do this morning and night.

Note: Initially you may experience a bit of a detox and symptoms from that for 3-4 days and things may even feel worse but then you should start to notice a dramatic difference for the better. Especially in your second and third week.

This is your proof you body is happier without the food you have eliminated. Continue for the three weeks to get a maximum effect and see any patterns emerging. Note down: cravings, pains, feelings and moods in this time.

Then after 3 weeks start to reintroduce the food group back in again. Do this even if you were feeling measurably better. The reason we do this is so we can notice how our body reacts to the food being reintroduced again. Note down over the next week again how you feel each day and make sure you have the previously eliminated dairy or gluten each day.

This type of self testing is often a lot cheaper than a trip to the doctor and their subsequent pharmaceutical medication. Some people who end up on long term meds or having organs removed through pain disorders later on discover they have an intolerance to dairy or gluten and perhaps surgery could have been avoided had that been picked up earlier.

I hear the cry of ” but people have eaten that food for years why is is only causing problems now”. The reality with this and all aliments that seem to be more prevalent is that people talk more now about themselves than they ever did years ago. We know when pain and illness is present or someone gets a bad diagnosis and more people go to doctors now as they are more affordable and easier to get access to.

It was not until the late 1800s early 1900s that grains became readily available through modernised milling techniques. So we only have 2-3 generations of learning on the effects of these foods for humans. Also refined grains are in more foods than ever before so the problems are multiplied.

Consumed milk products were originally from goats as they were the first milk producing animal to be domesticated. Most people can tolerate goats milk. However obviously there is more milk from larger animals and so domesticated cows became the preferred milkable animal. Cows milk is high in lactose and approximately 65 % of adults have a reduced ability to digest lactose after infancy as we stop producing lactase which is needed to digest milk (between 2-5) and yet we all keep drinking cows milk products.

I am not a GP so I can not tell you the best route for you. However I also know that many GPs do not consider what is eaten to have an impact on health unless it is an actual allergic response like people have to peanuts or shellfish. When you go to the doctor with constant sinus infections or colds they don’t ever say “well have you considered it might be what your eating?” Not at all it is her is this pill and nose spray, hopefully that helps and if not come back and see me.

My urge to you is to use your symptoms as clues and try and work out what from your direct environment or consumed foods could perhaps be causing problems before you rush off to the GP and end up getting you stomach removed. Over the top I know but still “food for thought”

Be well everyone

New Year Overwhelm

So you had a great holiday and had a chance to clear your head and rediscover a little about what you want to achieve for 2019. You headed back to work in this stinking heat (or freezing cold if your on the other side of the world) and bamm… you have hit a wall.

The new year overwhelm wall is very real. Not only are you up against all your own expectations you are also slamming into others new expectations as well. Maybe your boss came back with 3 new projects for you to tackle. Maybe like me you suddenly realised that you still have nearly 4 wks of school holidays and therefore nothings getting done in a hurry.

Don’t despair and give up. This is all very normal. Take a deep couple of breaths and get your paper out and jot down again the things from your own list for this year that are important to you. You still have 11 1/2 months to achieve these. They are not there to be conquered in a day.

Remember that there is a phenomina that happens to goals that are written that means that they have a much higher chance of being achieved. Take a look at them again and commit them to your soul. Then have a think about which one you want to tackle first. There is always a favourite.

What one thing could you do on that goal this week to get you some forward momentum? You will feel great when that gets achieved. So what will it be? A first workout, blog, video, research into how to make something/create something. A roadmap for the year towards a goal or a phone call. Whatever it is be specific so you can check it off once its achieved and reward yourself.

The best way to create a new habit is when it leads to a desired reward. Make it something nice. My friend Kate has a list of rewards. Things she would like. Things like a massage or coffee with a friend or to watch a movie. It can be simple or complex. Then before you begin your task choose from your list what the reward would be and make sure you stop and take the reward when its achieved.

This will stop you reaching the end of the year having just worked and done stuff all year long and had no fun and no feeling of achieved success along the way. I also guarantee that as you check things off and reward yourself it will build the momentum you need to see your goal achieved or at the very least well on the way to achievement by the end of the year.

Don’t give up. Seek a good friend or coach who also wants to see you succeed. Communicate with them and be real with where you are at. Let them encourage and motivate you. You know you want to achieve things and they will be your cheer squad and in some instances the task master who will keep you on track towards where you want to go.

So remember deep breaths. It helps with the anxiousness and overwhelm. Count to 5 and take a step. You will be on your way again in no time. Take heart my friend. You are not alone in this walk.

A time to reflect…

A time to draw a line in the sand…

Here we are on the cusp of a new year and it is, I have noticed, perhaps because of the holidays, a natural time to draw to a close the year. What does that mean?

Well to me it signals a time of reflection. As we spend time with loved ones over Christmas or holiday and away from our daily rush called life, we ponder on the relationships we have. We get a chance to reflect on how healthy they are. We have more time together and notice if that feels right and good or unhealthy and toxic. Perhaps it is a time to rethink who we might spend more time in contact with in the new year and whom we will not.

Friendships often get a break at this time as we spend more time with whanau (family) and we know whom we miss and definitely know those we do not. This is a sure fire way to know who we might need to spend a little less time with and who we need to prioritise in our friendship world.

It is a time of season change and we see changes in our bodies and the way we eat. This is a chance to make decisions about how we might change the way we are nourishing ourselves in the coming year. It is also a chance to do some research into what’s out there and start to look for help. We naturally have a little more time in the holidays to do these things and read/research a little.

There will be areas of our career and current chosen paths that come to a natural end as classes finish and offices are closed for a holiday period. This is also a chance to consider if headed into the new year we might like to mix that area of our life up. Perhaps part-time work is a more healthy choice for you. You might have been off home for a year and be ready to step forwards into what is new in the coming year. Or you might be ready for that promotion and new responsibility.

As you read this your soul will be screaming yes or no… listen. For some of you it will be a time to quit and go back to study and that is okay as well. Do not conform to what you think others think you should be doing. That is a guaranteed way to end up unhappy in this coming new year.

But then what? What do we do with all those reflections? Where do we start with even trying to install the new. Here are some tips.

Start to write. It’s a new year so why not grab a new notebook if you don’t have one and journal down the thoughts and feeling you have. Start a list of things that are “in” and things that are “out”. You will be amazed at how great this makes you feel. Also written goals have a way of coming to pass that unwritten ones often do not.

Start today. A phrase that I heard once was “do not put off to tomorrow that which can be achieved today”. What are you waiting for. The biggest hinderance to the new is inertia. Start right now. Take a step into the new and see where the path leads you. Very quickly you will find more confidence in your forward movement and know if the direction is going to be right for you.

Make the phone call, enrol, drawer the line. There is decision point when something is written but then there needs to be the action point. Tip yourself up to the “no turning back now” place before you hit your point of doubt and back out.

Find a coach or teacher. If you are dreaming big enough you are going to need support. Now, some of you may have a safe person in your world who already who fits this role. However most don’t. Do not tell you family or close friends if they are not this person. Those closest to us like to keep us as we are. They are comfortable with how we are and people don’t naturally love change. The last thing you need is a loved one naysaying all over your newly written goals and dreams. Let them know once you are past the tipping point and its too late to turn back.

Invest. You are worth it. Work out how you can afford to do it and invest back into you. Be it training or a new exercise class or art class. What ever it is going to be invest in you and believe you are worth it. You will never regret time spent on your dreams.

My heart for you all is that by the end of January you are 31 days into a new direction for you. That you look back and think wow I can not believe I did that in 30 days. Every day if you just take one step, by the end of a month you will have 31 days of a new direction behind you. By the end of this current season you will have 60 days behind you and by the end of the year you will have 365 days of action on your new path behind you.

You can not fail if every day you keep taking forward movement on your goals.

Happy New year to you all x

Your Body’s trying to tell you something…

Written By: Deborah Rose
Dated: 18/11/18

Is your body trying to tell you something?  Stop to ponder that for a moment.  As a health coach we are taught that our bodies are the most advanced test model and university of “us” that has ever existed.  What that simply means is.  We put food and substances into it and then our bodies in turn react positively or negatively to those introduced substances and react accordingly.  This gives the us clues we need to begin to properly nourish and look after ourselves and remember no two bodies are the same so what works for you might not work for you family or friends and vise-versa.

You might never have realised how much effect what you eat or use (like creams and deodorants) on your body can effect you body systems and how you are day to day both physically and mentally.  But lets break this down a little for you.

Your body is constantly regenerating every day.  Some parts change and generate cells quicker than others. Things like hair and nails make it easy to see this taking place.  Both are always growing.  Then we have skin cells. Dead skin is constantly flaking/wearing off as the new cells come through from underneath.  The way the body heals from a cut or graze also shows you this marvellous phenomena. The same is happening with internals cells and our organs as well.

So how then does what you put in your mouth or onto your skin effect that process? What you eat each day goes through your digestive system.  As the food moves through it is broken down and nutrients the body needs are absorbed along the way through different organs as it passes through the digestive tract.  The rest is processed by our liver passes through the intestines and bowel and leaves the body as waste.  You can tell so much about how well your internal system is working by how your faeces looks, smells and leaves the body (fast, slow …).  Buts thats another blog.

Then we have what comes in contact with your skin.  This is absorbed.  If you put chemicals onto your skin there is no barrier to stop them entering your cells and blood steam and causing havoc with your body processes.  The liver takes the hit here again and gets overloaded with toxins that it then needs to eradicate and help to leave the body.  If the poor liver gets over loaded with toxins from food and absorbed potions it spends all its time dealing with those and not enough absorbing what our body needs to regenerate well. That to is a whole other blog, but we will leave that for another day.

Now most people know that different foods carry different vitamins and minerals.  We are all told that we should eat a rainbows every day.  If your staple diet is rice, potatoes or bread, yes your body can survive on these and sadly in some countries that is sometimes all they have.  But if you only eat white foods your body is missing out of some of the vital things it needs to be at its optimum.  That is why those countries suffer high levels of malnutrition and disease.

The best thing you can do is to vary your diet and include as many fresh and unsprayed fruits and vegetables as possible.  You can get the carbohydrates (energy) you need from them.  Make sure you’re getting a source of protein daily and healthy fats are also a must for healthy hormones and cell regeneration.  Take time to learn the basics of healthy nutrition.  You live in this body every day and expect it to perform for you.  The least you can do is give it the right fuel.  

If you put diesel in a petrol car will it run well or at all?  No it will get very sick, very quickly.  Our bodies can not function well either without the fuel it needs.  So, back to “is you body trying to tell you something”…

If you feel bloated after eating, if you get dermatitis, excema, dandruff, itchy ear canals, itchy genitals, cracked nails, gout, heart pain, aches in joints, bury vision, yeast flareups, dry mouth, excess mucus…  the list really goes on and on.  But essentially this is our amazing body going, “hey there, can you lay off that food for a bit”, “hey there, that cream is not working for me”.  “Hey you are eating too much, or not enough”…

I know two of my biggest indicators are itchy ear canals and bloated tummy.  Both happen from different foods.  The itchy ears is too much sugar or when I have had one to many alcoholic drinks over a weekend.  They bloated tummy is all about wheat for me.  I love it so much though but within about an hour I notice the swelling in my abdomen.  I never connected those two things to food before but now I already know when I am consuming the food/drink that if I over do it the result will come.

So how can you use this body university of yours to your advantage?  Instead of getting upset and rushing off the the doctor to get a pill/lotion with more synthetic chemicals in it to counter what you are putting into your own body.  First try and establish a pattern and see if you can’t heal yourself with a diet change.  So try and find the food you think could be causing the flare up.  Eat a good amount of the food in one go and see if you have a reaction.  Have a break for a few days/week from it and see if the symptoms fade.  Then hit the body with that food again in a good dose and see if the symptoms come back.  If they do there is a good chance you have found a food your body struggles with or has an intolerance to. I would suggest a break from that food for a good month.

Then reintroduce that food again and see if the reaction comes back. Its that simple really.  Evidence based testing.  Sometimes your body will just need a break from a food and then the tolerance for it comes back and you can happily eat is again for a while.  Sometimes though the reaction will be so severe when you reintroduce it that the body symptoms it sets off for you makes leaving that food out of your diet the best option.  Its like someone with an alergy.  Once they know they have it and its no good for them they then eradicate it from there diet as they can’t risk an anaphylactic reaction.  

With food elimination though, if the food has been  a major source of something your body needs like calcium or a certain vitamin then you will need to find another food to add into your diet to replace that.  Failing that you may need to supplement with vitamins, however real food should always be your preference over man made vitamin sources.

Take time to read up a little on what a healthy body needs to grow and function at its best and put more of that into you body on a regular basis and cut out the empty foods and beverages with no benefits.

More to come on some of the health v/s inflammatory foods and what to look out for in your skincare and oral care products also.  Happy testing everybody and remember, everything that goes into your body is what your body uses to regenerate from. Try and give it the best help possible by putting good, clean, unprocessed and real food in whenever possible.

What is a Health Coach?

Written by: Deborah Rose

A Health Coach is potentially the best investment you could make in yourself
…and the learnings last you a lifetime

I get the feeling when I mention the profession of Health coaching people are a little miffed as to what that means.  This is a relatively new field here in New Zealand hence my studies have been done through the USA.  I will attempt to lay out ‘what is a health coach’ for you all so that people can start to realise the potential having a health coach could have in their lives.

Might be best to start with what a Health coach is not.  A Health coach is not a dietitian, naturopath, personal trainer or doctor.  In fact it has been found it is often better that they are not health professional. They do however work well alongside these other professions to help people struggling to make the changes needed for health and get them to follow through with what they already know or have been told they should be doing.

Time spent with other health professional is often limited and restricted and usually only deals with the one area focus at a time.  A Health coach on the other hand gets a chance to spend more time and dig a little deeper into the whole person and look at the other factors around that persons health that could be causing them symptoms in the first instance.

A Health coach uses evidence-based practice and improvement to support clients. They help clients build healthy habits that align with how their clients want to feel every day. They do this by looking at a persons body as a unique entity and helping the person find what is right for them as an individual.  They then guide them to implement incremental change to routines, to foster new habits and create long standing life improvements

I guess you could say a health coach is part cheerleader and part tough love coach.  They can be the difference between someone falling off the wagon again and again and them finally getting the results they want.

Health coaches are really masters of habit change. They will hold someones hand through the process of healing without making them feel small but instead instilling a conquering can do attitude and belief that getting to a place of wholeness and health is really possible and sustainable long-term

A Health coach will help you to view life through fresh eyes and get you to slow down long enough to make health a priority for you.  A Health coach will help you be mindful of your daily habits and to help you see what you perhaps can not see in yourself.  Or they can gently remind you of what you already know but are not yet managing to implement in your own life to help you achieve your goals.

We have all heard the phrase “work smarter not harder” that is a goal for the health of your body as well as in other areas of life.  There is no ‘one fit’ health solution for everybody.  There is no such thing as a pill that can make you healthy.  So invest in yourself and take the time to evaluate where your personal health is at with a professional and let them guide you to be your best you.  

Nutrition 101

written by: Deborah Rose
date: 13/11/2018


Let me see if I can keep this super simple for you all…

Nutrition is the bodily process of taking in and assimilating nutrients from the food we eat. This is done to support our bodies health, replacement of tissues and growth.

To nourish your body correctly with food you need to be consuming the right foods in order to do so.  Food is essential for human life.

The six main nutrients that the body needs are: Proteins, Lipids (fats), carbohydrates, water, vitamins and minerals.

Carbohydrates, Proteins and Lipids (fats) = Micronutrients
Vitamins and Minerals = Macronutrients

Macronutrients are the only nutrients to provide our bodies with energy in the form of calories.  We need calories to function. Calories are essential for human health.

Calories often get a bad reputation due to weight-loss diets.  Those on weight-loss diets can obsess about calorie intake.  The bottom line is that too many and we will see weight gain and subsequent related diseases and too few and we will see the body begin to waste away and as it does it begins to shut down basic necessary body health functions.

No person is the same as then next and no persons nutritional requirements are the same as the next.  People have different metabolisms and they all burn calories at differing rates.  So it is important to listen and notice what works for your own body.

You can follow diet guides as a starting point but ultimately need to learn about and evaluate your own health to know if you are eating the right amount of calories and nutrients to optimise your bodily functions.

Micronutrients are required only in trace amounts.  They aid with bodily functions like metabolism, growth, renewal of cell and physical well-being.

Carbohydrates  are the bodies most desired form of energy.  This is because they can be broken down quickly and utalised by the body and digestive system.  Hence the cravings we get for a quick snack when our energy wains.  There are three types of Carbohydrates (Simple, Complex and Fibre).

Lipids (Fats) come in three forms.  They are Saturated Fat, Unsaturated Fat (monounsaturated and polyunsaturated) and Trans fats.

Fats are crucial for our survival.  They provide a high-density energy source and help to maintain our protect our cellular membranes.  Tehy help the body with the absorption of  the fat-soluable vitamins we need and help us to regulate our hormones and create viatamin D.  Fats also provide consistency, taste, stability and satisfaction from foods.

Proteins play many critical roles in the body.  They are required for function, regulation and structure of the bodies tissues and organs.  They are made up of smaller sub-units called Amino acids.  Protein makes up enzymes which are vital for optimal digestion and immunity in the body.  It also defines how we ultimately are made up, look and behave.

Protein can be used as a source of energy, but only as a last resort as the body refers to use it for more important functions in repair, growth and development instead.

So that’s it.  A very basic introduction to nutrition for those of you who have maybe never looked in to it.  If you are keen to learn more about yourself and your body then there is so much information out there you can use as a guide.

However my ultimate advise to you will always be to listen to your own body and what it is telling you.  Dry skin, eczema, aches and pains, dandruff, dry eyes … are all symptoms of something having an effect on the body.  Start with analysing what you are consuming and rubbing up against and you most likely will discover what ails you.

Be blessed everyone x